Matters of the Heart: Round 1

Audrey Morrison and Eva Williams

matters of the heart
Welcome to Matters of the Heart, The Lasso’s newest column.

A few weeks ago, The Lasso sent out a form for those in need of love advice. (Those still with inquiries — here’s the form.) Here’s our best attempt at answering your questions. 

So I’ve had a bunch of friends ask me out and I keep saying no. I find it kinda stupid that I’m writing this here but how do you know if you’re ready to date?

Not stupid at all! Chances are, you’re not gonna know you’re ready until you try it. Some things you can do is consider if you have time, energy, and most importantly: feelings for this person. Don’t do it just because you feel obligated to say yes. That’s only going to create more heartbreak down the line. It’s cliché, but you do need to have respect and care for yourself to be able to give it (and receive it!) from another person. 

im in love but i don’t know if my crush likes me back. how do i know? do i just go for it? or do i let my feelings continue to bloom inside of me?

There’s not really a way to know these things (unless you can take the risk and ask one of their friends). But I would say go for it — the worst that can happen is a bit of awkwardness, and the best that can happen is a relationship. Live your dream! 

My friend likes a guy but won’t talk to him what are some conversation starters she can use/how should she know if he likes her?

Ahh, a difficult one. (Aren’t they all?) Think about what they have in common — classes, music taste, movies. Go from there. 

Prom is coming up and I was wondering how I can get a date to go with me? I broke up with my previous girlfriend and wanted to ask a new girl out. I would appreciate the advice.

We know prom is very soon! So you might be in a bit of a crunch. But if you have a specific person in my mind, think of a cute little pun for a poster and ask! You’ve got it. 

How do I tell my friend that I don’t like him without making it sound rude? He hasn’t asked me directly, but his friends and my friends keep joking about it and making it awkward. Help!

This is unfortunately an awkward but super common situation to be in. But the good thing is, it sounds like you know exactly what you want. And it doesn’t sound like this is going to go away any time soon. 

why don’t girls talk to me? btw I don’t talk to them either.

Focus on reaching out. It’s scary to talk to girls! They’re not as bad as you think (usually). Just take a deep breath, be friendly, and avoid awkward conversation topics!

Ok, so I’m like a maybe 4/10 girl in regards to looks. And my problem is that I think that all guys are ugly-looking. Like, I’d date an ugly guy obviously, but the relationship probably wouldn’t be good, because I wouldn’t be that physically attracted to him. And I feel guilty for not being attracted, cause I’m ugly too. And like, I value personality and stuff. But like, I think I’m right? All guys are very ugly, like, just objectively. Their skinny legs, body hair, skin, smell… ew. I wish I was a boy a lot of the time though, which feels weird and hypocritical cause I think guys are ugly. I wish I was a boy so that I could date girls, cause girls are so much more attractive than guys, and I don’t even think it’s just makeup and clothes, cause girls just look more attractive, even the ugly ones look better than the average guy. Guys are so so lucky that they can date girls, and NONE of them appreciate it. I dunno. Maybe I’m gay? I don’t think I am, cause the feelings I have whenever I see a hot girl are different than the ones when I see a hot guy. I’m pretty sure I’m straight? I dunno, I think I’m attracted to guys. How do I solve this???

I hope I’m not overstepping but this might have less to do with the male race than you. I think it’s more worthwhile to consider how you feel about yourself. If you don’t see yourself as someone to be desired then I’m not sure how you can envision yourself in a relationship in the future. Your attraction to other people shouldn’t have anything to do with the way you view yourself. That’s not to say that you need to know what you want and how you feel right now. In fact, this is the best time to explore different aspects of your selfhood. It sounds like you have a pretty strong resolve so use that conviction to change the way you see yourself.