After attending the school for about a month now, I feel as though I have gotten into the Meridian flow. I now stride through the halls with confidence, call my teachers by their names, and only occasionally go to the wrong lunch block. Nevertheless, despite the best efforts of my lovely guidance counselor Ms. Chesley and the incredible support from the Mustang Ambassadors, I have been left with seven unanswered questions.

1) Why do we have school IDs? Seriously, can someone tell me what they’re supposed to do? I know conspiracy theorists float around a wide smattering of unfounded ideas about how the government’s stalking our every move, but to be honest, I kind of get where they’re coming from now. There is no other plausible explanation for our having these cards. They don’t open any doors, and they barely provide any identifying information. They exist simply to sustain the business of fake dress shirts. Mine doesn’t even have my name on it. 

2) Is everyone supposed to do the Pledge of Allegiance each morning? What if I’m not an American citizen? Am I supposed to cross my fingers? Am I given a pass if my parents work for the government? 

3) Why are the blocks 84 minutes? Who decided that? Why couldn’t they have just picked a normal number, like a multiple of five or ten? Was it just to drive people insane? Because if it was, it’s working.

4) Why do we stand on the bleachers at the football games? Isn’t the whole point of bleachers to sit? Maybe that’s why they’re called “stands.”

5) One of the first things brought to my attention when I entered these hallowed grounds was the divide between students who have attended this school since at least the middle school, or lifers, and the children of state department employees who frequently move around the globe. Is the only point of the airport lounges to make the State Department kids feel at home? Get it, because we never had a permanent home?

6) Are the Falls Church lifers supposed to take AP classes and State Department kids supposed to take IB classes? Is this because State Department kids are literally international? Do these different programs reinforce established systems of oppression? (Please break into groups of three and discuss.)

7) Is there a subtle way to check if a stall is already taken in the bathroom? People look at me weird when I lie on the floor to check for shoes. Also, why are the sinks shared? It’s so awkward to go over to the other side when one of the paper towel dispensers is broken.