Students and staff flow into the auditorium in anticipation of the Lasso’s School Board candidate debate, which took place on October 21, 2015. Students were encouraged to write-in questions for the candidates, and many of their responses took a humorous route.

When you give blank notecards to a group of high school students and tell them to write a serious question, you’re not going to get very many serious questions.

This proved true at Tuesday’s school board candidate forum, where the audience write-in questions weren’t always the most relevant. Still, they proved to be quite humorous. So without further ado, here are the most amusing questions the students submitted to candidates for Falls Church City School Board:

(Note: The Lasso doesn’t actually expect the School Board to respond to these questions. Still, if they wish to do so, we would love to hear their responses.)

• “Have you played halo 5?”

Yes. Of course. I am incredibly busy with my campaign for office, most likely a parent, and probably holding a job. With my incredibly packed schedule where I barely have time to sleep, I love spending my few, scarce moments of free time staring at a TV while playing some video game.

Then again, Halo 5 doesn’t come out until October 27, so I doubt you have played it either, audience member.

• “Yo can I get some cheese sauce up in here?”

Let’s be honest, we all wish we could have some cheese sauce up in here. Cheese is great. But this is a forum, not a restaurant, and besides, there’s no eating in the auditorium. I’m sure the candidates aren’t willing to risk their image by breaking the rules and smuggling any food with them onto the stage.

• “What’s your favorite Mortal Kombat combo? What was Scorpion’s fatality?”

Mortal Kombat combos? They’re politicians. This is America. The only important combo for them is the combo of democracy and freedom. *national anthem plays.*

• “Are you adapted to modern culture, for example, can you spit a freestyle”

I for one would have loved to see the candidates “spit a freestyle.” Besides the obvious entertainment value, quick-thinking is an important skill in both politics and life. So is keeping up with current and relevant culture of the day. But still, I’m not so sure the author of this question was keeping up with what was current and relevant in the debate. The candidates are here to discuss their views and plans of action, not to try and rap for us. Besides, we really don’t need another Iggy Azalea…

• “I feel, as an american, that the other grades seem to want the freshman’s jobs. Can we build a wall in between the freshman and softmores [sic]. And how much will it cost?”

I have absolutely no idea which presidential candidate this question might be alluding to. Still, it does pose several important questions. What is a “softmore?” And why is there only one “freshman?” I had always believed our school had many freshman, but perhaps I’m wrong. Still, why are the mysterious “softmores” after this one freshman? Why does he have so many jobs? What can we do to help?  And who are the “softmores?!” Forget about any utensil controversy, these are the questions we need answered.

This concludes our list of the most notably amusing questions from yesterday’s debate. These questions may have initially seemed quite irrelevant, but in hindsight, they deserve a second though. They are examples of the pure creative and humor prevalent in our students, and additionally have brought Mason’s own elusive, possibly mythical creature to our attention: the job-stealing “softmores.”